Awwww Snap

I was recently prompted by our current situation to look at Matt and say "Holy shit! We're grown-ups!?!" And, no, this isn't at all based on the fact that I turn 24 in just over a month. [I know that's not old, but when I was a teenager, anything close to or over the age 25, seemed forever and a day away]

Sometimes life throws you curve balls, and you hit them, so it's a good thing.

My mother is investing in a job opportunity out of state, which means she's moving...out of state. [This comes after years of demands that her children not move/live out of state, because she didn't want to be far away from her (future)grandchildren]. She has graciously offered up her house to us [the upstairs since the basement is rented]. So....this past week has been spent planning the move, and since her house is not within a mile of Matt's work, he will no longer be able to walk to work. That meant we needed a second vehicle.

About four months ago we had been looking at buying a bigger vehicle for me [thinking ahead to the next few years when we start having children]. At the time, we decided that we would wait, until it was more affordable for us. Saturday we ventured out onto the car lots looking primarily for a commuter car for Matt, because we didn't really want to be spending too much right now. However, we found a brand new 2008 model of the same vehicle we almost bought four months ago.....for a $7,000 savings. Yes, $7,000 savings for waiting 4 months to buy it. Granted, we would have gone for the upgraded model with leather seats, but for $7k, I can deal with the cloth! [I will do a follow-up post with pics, when it's not raining on my new car!]

This is what hit me like a ton of bricks: we are buying new cars, moving, and really, seriously planning out our future. We were signing so many forms at the dealership like...well...like we we were

ALL

GROWN

UP

The Geek in Me

I read lots of regular fiction, because I can't handle westerns, romance, sci-fi, or most non-ficiton subjects. I don't like buying used or going to the library, because I like the smell of a new book...but I donate books I don't intend to keep to my local library, because when I was young I couldn't buy books @ $20 a pop, and was constantly at the library...it's my version of "giving back to the community".

As I write this, there is a finished puzzle on my coffee table that I did by myself on Sunday, in under 2.5 hours (we didn't time it, but that's our guess), while watching TV...and I buy the 5-pak (500 pc/puzzle) at Walgreens, because it's only $6.99.

I own an original Nintendo, and love to play Mario Bros. 3, but I also own Mario Bros. 1 (with DuckHunt, of course). I learned to play Star Wars Battlefront on an XBOX first, and then on Playstation 2 (and the sequel, Battlefront 2, which I'm currently re-obsessed with on PS2)....and I'm not even a Star Wars fan. I once spent weeks mastering the 100-man-melee on GameCube (with the princess, no less). [I can't tell you the name of the game...so I'm not that big of a geek...but I do know that some games are exclusive to their game systems, and some are made in multiple versions for each gaming system, and they look different on XBOX, PS2, PC, etc....which anyone who isn't slightly geeky would not necessarily know that] .


I like to sew, even though I haven't for a while (because we just honestly don't have the room that projects tend to overtake). I recovered our couch in microfiber suede & have made lots of quilts (hand-tied with yarn, because I'm too lazy to make them a true "quilt") ...I can sew buttons back on, but don't ask me to hem something because I take my pants down the street and pay the $10 to have them hemmed.

I've been told by some people that one of these things makes me geeky (them only knowing about one of these)...so what does the combination of these things make me? Seriously? Because it's not like I know all the html codes, the difference in a processor & RAM, or every part in a car's engine, or quote lines from Star Wars or Star Trek, or know everything about the newest iPhone or similar star-status cell phone (I text, and make calls from my phone, and I can handle that). Maybe the definition of "geek" has changed since I was in high school...even though that was only 6 years ago?

I think it's healthy to have interest in lots of things, even if that makes me a GEEK!

Dear Loved One,

Happy Birthday. You would have been 26 today. Last month was the 9th anniversary, and I thought of you that entire day. I think of you often, and how unfair it was that your family had to lose you so young, to lose you at all. You were the closest thing I ever had to a big brother, and the closest thing I had to a normal brother. The thing is, you treated me like I was your little sister, and not just your little sister's friend (at least it seemed that way to me). I often think back to your family's trip that I was invited on, and you giving me your sweater because I was cold. Such a simple gesture, but sincere and kindhearted...enough that I can recall it now just shy of 10 years later. That was your essence: sincere, kindhearted, loving. Though you were only in my life for a short period of time, you made a huge impact in it, and the loss of you changed they way I looked at the world, how I looked at life.

Even though I haven't been to see you in years, it's not that I don't think about you, and miss you. It's merely that after you were gone, I hurt for so long, not just because you were gone....but your family was like my "other" family, and it hurt to see them hurt.

Please forgive me for not visiting more often, and enjoy this day that should be celebrated for you. You may no longer be here in body, but in reverent remembrance we can honor you, because we love you and miss you.

Always & Forever

Egregious Behavior

Matt & I both enjoy people-watching in public outings. Sometimes we sit at at a restraunt and say only a few words to each other during dinner, looking like an old married couple, but really we are just people-watching (or watching the game on the TV). Because seriously, after how long we've known each other, we sometimes just don't have much to talk about that doesn't revolve around work. (...maybe we are doing things in reverse, and in our golden years we will be chatting each other's ears off...). Anyway, this situation works for us, both being generally quite people.

Saturday we met up with a bunch of his work friends at Junior's, a bar downtown. Originally one of them was supposed to be set up on a "meet-&-greet-a-potential-love-interest", but the "love interest" didn't show. It worked out better that way. The pressure was off, and the drinking and pool playing was no longer going to be interrupted by the getting to know you games (so often pursued when two people are being set up by a third party).

We dominated the back part of the room, taking over the one and only pool table. Matt played most of the night, taking turns with the two other players, while the rest of us watched, drank, and chatted away. I didn't feel like playing pool, so I mostly drank and watched everyone else. There were a few people that it was my first time meeting, and so I was in observatory mode.

An hour into the festivities, the guy (we'll call him John) who was supposed to bring the "love interest", had another group of friends show up (2 girls, 1 guy). We didn't know them, and they didn't seem to be interested in meeting the rest of us (not all that shocking as I'll explain). The 4 of them were standing around talking, and I couldn't help but watch the group, as the blatant behaviors started to emerge. Oh, I'm sure the girls were behaving well with their words...I couldn't tell you for sure, as they were on the other side of the room where I couldn't hear. BUT I could see them. The poor guy they came with, desperately tried not to be left out of the conversation. However the girls' interest was all on John, and obviously so. They were looking straight at him, talking with him, only turning to the other guy when ab-so-lute-ly necessary. I watched one of the girls inparticular, and was very amused by her body language. She was leaning into the conversation she was having with John...head tilted down, but looking up at him smiling...mimicking his movements...repeatedly putting her hair behind her ear, or playing with it. All the classic signs of flirting that send the signal I'm totally into you, please, please, please notice!!! And John? He had the smile on, and the laid back posture not to give too much away up front (but really portrays the I'm not going to make it obvious that I'd go for you, but I totally would signal).

I couldn't help but laugh on the inside, and a little out loud, and pull Matt over to watch.

I laughed because it was so completely obvious. I laughed because I have been there, and was hoping I wasn't that obvious. I laughed because I'll never have to go through that every weekend, ever again, and I'm so very glad.

Now all I have to do is empty the sink trap

In the months I spent planning the wedding, I spent a lot of time on a Craigslist wedding forum. I got to know a lot of the girls on there pretty well (as well as you can know people who hang out in forums using pseudonym handles-which what you call screen names in forums). We discussed ideas, helped each other find deals, and sometimes discussed our grievances about our FHs (future husbands). It was there I was taught a very important lesson about relationships, that has saved me some aggrivation and frustration (hopefully making me a better spouse, even if just a little).

There was a day recently that I arrived home, and Matt had taken the initiative to clear our coffee/dining table off. Yes, it is our dining table too. If you've been to our apartment you know it wasn't built to have 2 people co-habitate, and for sure not to have space for a real table. (have you seen our one-butt kitchen, with 2 sq feet of counter space and oddly short cupboards? As in only one butt can fit in there at a time it's so tiny...). It looked nice and clean, and the front room was all picked up as well. My first thought was "and you didn't vacuum the floor because???". But I caught myself and thought back to this story told by one of the girls in the forum.

Jane noticed a pattern when Jack (her FH) did the dishes. He would wash them, dry them, even put them away...clean off the counters....but forget to empty the sink trap. She would get mad and tell him, it wasn't really cleaning up the kitchen if he didn't finish the job. She was frustrated, because no matter how many times she told him to please empty the trap, he never did. She realized after a few months that getting upset about it wasn't getting her anywhere. And, afterall, she felt bad because he was doing something nice by giving her a clean kitchen to come home to after her 10-12 hour work days. She realized he was just trying to make life easier for her, because she worked so much more than him. She decided to change her view to the proverbial glass is half full. The next time she came home to clean dishes and a dirty sink trap, she thought, "Sweet, now all I have to do is empty the sink trap!".


Since I was told that story I've tried to keep it a mantra in the back of my mind. So the night I came home to a clean table....I caught myself before I chastised him for not vacuuming, as my second thought immediately following was "now all I have to do is empty the sink trap". Because, after all, Matt was just trying to make my day easier knowing I was exhausted from being back at work. (I think I did say I'd vacuum, but haven't gotten to it yet...because of the combination of my laziness and tax return filing frying my brain).

I'm not perfect, and this doesn't happen every time, but I hope that this baby step is something that becomes a habit.